((TN and VA, “The Best Damned Bootleggers in the U.S.A.”
Based on this wonderful story by April. :D
“Sir, this looks awfully suspicious to me,” the heavyset member of the law said, eyes turning to the bed of the truck. “I hope fer your sake you ain’t hiding anything else back there, or you’re in fer some serious time in the slammer, son.”
Virginia almost seemed to meld into the seat when the officer mentioned jail, though her face remained stoic, her eyes couldn’t hide that frightened feeling overwhelming her.
‘Ernie, please don’t try anything too crazy!’ she thought, ‘Oh dear God. Get us out of this nightmare! It’s been forever since I’ve seen him and had fun with him like this. God please!’
It was at that moment that the officer pulled back the cover to reveal several wooden barrels of that white whiskey Tennessee was so well known for. In a flash Ernie put the gas pedal to the floor, crushing the lawman’s left foot with the back tire as he sped off.
Virginia couldn’t believe her eyes! She let loose a string of curse words in her panic that were only ceased by Ernie shouting, “Woman will you shut your face and get my shotgun out from under the seat?”
“Yo-your what?” Liz sputtered.
“Shotgun! You know? The thingy that’s going to save our skins? Get it out! Now!” Tennessee yelled, as though he had secretly orchestrated the entire plan for just such an emergency.
Doing as she was told, Liz checked to make sure the weapon was loaded. Looking at Ernie, she asked, “Do you mean you want me to shoot that man? Ernie that’s crazy! I can’t do that to a police officer!”
“Not the officer. The radiator! Take out the radiator!” Mr. Knox yelled.
A flash of understanding suddenly came to the Old Dominion as she cocked and fired the device with the utmost precision, landing a direct hit on the cop’s car.
As the officer’s swearing became more distant, the pair slowly relaxed.
Eventually, Tennessee couldn’t help breaking out into a fit of laughter, saying, “Man did you see the look on ol s** ass’s face back there?!? That ol bumpkin didn’t know what hit him did he?”
Maybe his laughter was contagious. Maybe she was thrilled by the crazy stunt that they had just pulled. Maybe she was turned on by the cool manner in which Ernie played the proverbial bad hand he had been dealt. Either way, Liz couldn’t help but smiling and laughing along with him after a while, saying between breaths, “Did you see the look on his face?! It serves him right for prying like that, the fool!”
“Yep! You ought to not be messing with Tennessee White Whiskey, or the best damned bootlegger in the entire U.S.” Ernie replied with another wink.
I’ll probably clean this up later. Ya know how it goes. :) ))